He Said, She Said
by PrettyxInxSin
Summary: Figuring out sexuality is difficult enough on a couple of teenagers, but now Hikaru and Kaoru also find themselves struggling on putting a name to their emerging gender identity as well - add that to their budding feelings for one another and a fine mess is about to result. Series of one-shot fanfics exploring bigender!Hitachiin twins. Will later be M for sexual content/twincest.
1. Dress Up

_A/N:_ Chapter one of a series of little one-shots I'll be patching together that explores the avenue of bigender!Hitachiin twins. In this specific case, they both identify with being male (their assigned gender), but only sometimes. They also identify as being female, which leads them both to alternate between the two genders depending on their how they wish to identify. As they figure out how they're feeling about identifying as more than one gender, I'll stick to using they/them/theirs in certain chapters.

I'll also be exploring their sexuality. Their relationship in canon is quite literally, borderline incestuous and I believe they are just a hair shy of actually getting together in the series. This means that this is also a Hitachiincest fanfiction and if you cannot handle that, the back button probably looks good to you.

Otherwise, enjoy! Please leave feedback, it helps me figure out what direction to go and who's receiving my work. Let me know what you need more clarification on what non-binary identities mean, specifically being bigender, and I'll try to point you to some resources (although I encourage you to do some research if you're not familiar with this concept).

* * *

_She says she loves the way mother used to never care about using her as displays for her latest fashion trends._

Most little boys would find it humiliating, the fact that they were being stuffed into doll-like dresses for the sake of showing off their parent's work.

Not them.

They put up such little fuss the first time they are slipping into frills at the age of three, so Yuzuha decides to do it again, and again - soon, whenever the whole family scrambles over to see her latest designs, they are, sure enough, displaying her trends.

If anything, it was the amount of fawning their relations did that sickened them the most.

"Oooooh, look at you! Just like a pair of little dolls!"

"She's at it again, that devil. Dressing up her sons to be a pair of angels - it's just too cute."

"She should put them in commercials - bet you her sales would go out though the roof!"

Murmurs would reach around to them when said relations approached them; they would pinch their cheeks, croon, and even tried to play along and guess who was Hikaru (of course, nobody got it right).

After a while, it gets old, even they're only five. A pair of children could only stand so much babying, which is exactly why they slip away from the party and head to the backyard. Few adults ventured there - the meet-and-greet was contained to the front, so this leaves them with enough space to venture.

"What a boring party." Kaoru is the first to voice their dissent, brushing down the blue extensions.

"All of mom's parties are boring." Hikaru picks at the end of their dress, examining the frills.

"She could've just dressed us up without all the dumb adults."

Both share a giggle.

"Yeah, totally. I just like the dress, y'know? Kinda makes me feel like..."

"...a girl?"

The elder twin nods. Seconds later, they tilt their head a bit and blink - of course, their twin guessed right, but wasn't it odd? How can a boy /feel/ like a girl?

"Don't you - "

" - think it's weird?" Kaoru finishes.

"Yeah. Boys aren't - "

" - girls. And girls aren't - "

" - boys."

"..."

"...but I don't feel like much of a boy right now."

"Me either."

Both of them scrunch up their noses and sit on the ground, ruffling the dresses.

"Hikaru, does that mean we're girls now? If we don't feel like boys?"

"I dunno. We're boys, aren't we? But if we don't feel like boys.."

Pause. It wasn't adding up to either of them, and yet -

"...I kind of like it though - "

" - feeling like this. Yeah. I do, too."

"Do you think mom would let us do this more?"

"Why not? Mom wants to show off her clothes whenever she can."

An enthusiastic nod is followed by the bobbing of pink pigtails. Both end up smiling.

"Maybe we can show up like this to school when we feel like wearing dresses too, right Kaoru? It'd be kinda fun."

"Yeah! We should do it!"

Pleased murmurs slip between them as they entertain the thought of the school's reaction to them showing up in the girl uniforms. Maybe they could put more natural-looking extensions in and have fun performing different hair styles. Mother might even let them experiment with some nail polish -

"Hikaru! Kaoru! There you two are!"

So much for that fantasy. The bubble is popped when the gentle voice of their mother snaps them out of their little conversation.

"Awwww, but mommmmm!" Sycophantic whines escape their throats in unison.

"No 'buts', you two. You know the family has been dying to see how much you've grown."

"No they haven't, they just wanna see us look cute."

Yuzuha chuckles, hands resting on their small shoulders.

"Of course. Who wouldn't? You're simply adorable."

In unison, they roll their eyes, hands quick to reach for the other's.

"Come on. You boys can have lunch after you say hello to your grandmother, alright?"

Although their mother calls them boys, it doesn't sit right with them. They don't like the odd sensation of disappointment that stems from those syllables, but don't know what to say in response. Instead, both grin with excitement at the mention of their grandmother. She was simply the best, what with her unconventional fashion statements and eccentric love of motorcycles.

As they head back, they both share glances past their mother's back. She likes to dress them for her shows, but what if she wouldn't let them do this for school?

(Dressing up is for home, only.)


	2. Individuality Hurts

_A/N: _And here I present chapter two! I'm going to try and keep updating once a week - I'd love to do it even more, since I've got such the plethora of ideas, but I get busy during the week, and I do better when I devote a solid amount of time in the late mornings to just write.

Enjoy! Leave your feedback, let me know what you think!

* * *

_He says that he doesn't always mind being called a 'boy'._

Boy. Man. Male.

Those words fit, sometimes, has days of consistency and ease with which they could ascribe their identity to. When that happens, there is no fuss - all of the identifiers pour from the mouths of maids and mother alike with a soothing honey that confirms who they are.

But when it doesn't match?

It is the very bane of their existence. What was once a sort of validating balm becomes rusted nails entrenching themselves into their skin until their bones are aching from the puncture wounds.

On those days, they ached to be called otherwise.

Girl. Woman. Female.

At seven years old, they still don't know why that is, but the feeling has stuck to them. Enjoying feminine clothing and dabbling with make-up continues on those kind of days when everybody is busy. They have even practiced referring to each other in terms of she, her, and hers in an effort to reduce the tension that coiled tight within whenever others kept calling them boys.

Right now, it works. There is not yet a word they can think of to describe the way with which they transfer between genders, but for now, they think nothing of it.

Until then, there will be other pressing concerns to deal with, like the very fact that Yuzuha is, at present, attempting to separate her children into separate bed.

"Do we have to?"

Moonlight soaks the room with its soothing rays. Cherry blossoms are hugging the window and the March winds roll into the room - how comforting it would be, if not for the fact that they were both huffing on the mattress with their stubby legs and arms folded up.

"Yes. You two are getting to be big boys (boys, today that identification suits them). You know you both can't sleep in the same bed for forever."

"But mooooooooom." Hikaru, being one of more theatrical flair, is kicking his legs and falling back on the bed with a loud 'thump.' What part of 'no' does this woman not get?

"We don't wanna." Kaoru, on the other hand, sits in place, fingers idling with his pajama buttons as he stares up at his mother.

"You two heard me. It'll be nice to have your own space, don't you think?"

"No."

The twins utter this in unison. Hikaru sits upright once again, if only to match the gestures of his twin. Staying in sync was critical.

"It's adorable how you think I'm giving you a choice."

Before they know it, Kaoru is getting plucked off of the mattress. He is placed on the other side of the room where a new bed was placed.

"Now, I'll be checking on you in half an hour. I better see you two sticking to your beds, okay?"

Yuzuha kisses them good night, despite all of the whining and protesting they do. She thinks they'll get used to it in due time - they have to, they're too old to still want to share the same bed.

†

It's only been two hours, yet this arrangement is already so dissatisfying that it almost /hurts/ the twins to the point where they are shuffling around in their separate beds and passing whispers.

Individuality is such a drag.

"I can't sleep." Hikaru confesses first. Kaoru can't make out his brother's features, but he's sure there was a well-defined pout on his lips.

"Me either."

"Mom's come in twice now...do you think she'll come a third time?"

"No way. It's almost midnight. She's gotta sleep sometime."

"Then what are we waiting for? Get over here!"

"Okay, okay! Hold on."

The younger twin stuffs the bed with a few pillows and throws the sheet over, then shuffles over.

"Ow! Hey, watch it!"

"Sorr - oof, move your big butt nii-san, you take up too much space - "

"Me? Rude, Kaoru, I do not."

"Do too."

Although the twins are still a tangle of limbs and sheets, both are giggling. Nevermind that Kaoru was sitting right in the middle of Hikaru's lap - it was comforting to be in such close proximity again.

"I hope she doesn't come in."

"Me too. I don't want her to put you back over there. I don't like it."

Pause. The younger slips out of his sibling's lap, only to nestle next to him as they both lay down.

"She might grab you though, Hikaru. It's not like she can tell us apart, at least not when our hair's all messed up 'n we're sleeping."

"What are you talking about? I don't think she knows the difference at all, sleeping or not...I mean, if she could _really_ tell us apart, don't you think she'd be addressing us separately by now?"

Silence sits between them for a moment as identical hues of amber lock gazes.

"Well...you know what that maid said."

"Yeah..."

Too identical. Too alike.

"But!" Before they let hurt over people's inability to distinguish them settle in, Hikaru sits up, fists clenched. "That's because people are stupid."

"Yeah!" Kaoru does the same. "Way stupid!"

"It's not our fault they can't tell us apart. I mean, how obvious is it that_ I'm_ Hikaru, and _you're _Kaoru?"

"Uh-huh! I don't know how everybody else keeps missing that! It's so easy to tell..."

These words provide a sense of reassurance. People are idiots, not them. Not because they deliberately make it impossible for people to guess, or that they are entering the third grade still sleeping in the same bed and holding hands every day. Not because they themselves have been so preoccupied with keeping their very beings entangled as one abstract entity instead of two, fully-established individual children with their own set of friends and their own set of interests.

Not because of them. Not at all.

"But...it'd be...kinda nice if - "

" - people could tell us apart."

As they lay down again, identical sighs leave their throats. Hikaru grabs Kaoru's hand in his and gives it a tight squeeze.

"Forget 'em. We don't need them. I've got you, and you've got me, okay?"

The younger twin returns the squeeze.

"You promise, nii-san?"

"I promise. Always."

"Always."

Now that they're in the same bed again, the twins are able to drift away into a comfortable slumber.

Yuzuha checks on them again in an hour and finds that not even she has the heart to rip them away.

(Individuality hurts, after all).


	3. Keep It In the Closet

_A/N: _Here's part three! These next few chapters are going to involve their experiences in middle school, and then thereafter I definitely want to zoom on their high school and college experience.

As always, enjoy! Feedback is always greatly appreciated!

* * *

_She says that she sometimes felt smothered inside her own skin._

Middle school is approaching at a speed that throws them off guard, and they don't know what to do about it. Sure, they are moving in with the same peers, but the environment of it all seems -

"Boring."

On a tour of Ouran Academy's junior high school, the twins are already apathetic about the whole ordeal. Only here for fifteen minutes, and it is already an underwhelming experience. The place was, after all, in the same location, and this segment was only modestly larger than the elementary division.

"Now, Kaoru - "

"Nope! I'm Hikaru."

"Hikaru - "

"What, you seriously believe that? Of course I'm Kaoru, I was joking."

"You two - "

"Wha - ow! Hey, hey!"

"Dad!"

Mr. Hitachiin is tugging on them both by the ear and hauling them over to the admissions office with an agitated scowl. They were going to be the death of him, that's for sure.

"Daaaaad!" Kaoru is wincing as they go, trying hard to get out of his grip. It wasn't his fault that Hikaru decided to mess around. "Let me go, it was his fault."

"No way, that was all you, Kaoru." Hikaru is doing the same, although he is also attempting not to laugh about it. After all, if he was going to suffer, Kaoru had to suffer with him.

"Hikaru, you big jerk, don't drag me into your stupid games!"

"I'm not doing anything, it was all you! I'm the victim here."

"You're lucky I can't reach you from here or I swear - "

"Boys!"

"Ow!"

They come to an abrupt halt in front of the building, ears getting tugged hard before they are released.

"We're here. Now behave."

†

Both of their uniforms are laying neatly across the bed, yellow tops and black slacks ironed out to perfection as they await to be worn.

"Can you believe we have to wear this next year?"

Kaoru makes a face in response. She (as they both wished to go by today) couldn't agree more.

"What are we going to do on the days that we don't wanna wear it?"

"I don't know." A sigh. "Too bad we weren't actually girls or something. Their outfits are actually cute."

"Well, yeah, but then we'd probably get annoyed if we couldn't wear the guy uniforms, huh?"

"Ugh." Hikaru huffs. "Can't win one way, or the other, can we?"

As it stands, their I.D says male. M. Big, bold, angry red letter that sticks to their faces and names wherever they go, even when they don't identify with that gender presentation.

Doubtful that even such a school as Ouran would be willing to allow them to simply switch, too. There's only men and women as far as they can tell.

"No. Not really."

The elder twin throws her arms up and sits down on the bed with a scowl etched into porcelain features.

"I hate feeling like this."

"What do you mean?" Kaoru occupies the spot next to her, brows knitting into a gentle concern. She was always fretting about her older sibling when the dysphoria started up, despite her own welling within.

"It'd just...be easier if we always felt like guys, I guess. Then it wouldn't matter what our uniforms looked like, and it wouldn't feel like crap when people keep calling us boys."

Pause. The younger twin lets out a slight chuckle.

"What? You think that's funny?"

"No, no. I just thought of something, though. I mean, it's temporary, but it might help."

Hikaru lightens up.

"What's that?"

"Well, mother and father are going to be away on business trips all summer, right?"

A grin spreads across the elder twin as she catches on.

"Yeah...they are. Which means - "

"We can do - "

"Whatever we want and wear - "

"Whatever we feel like."

This realization is enough for Hikaru to bolt right out of the mattress. She was already in love with the idea.

"It'll be great! We can sneak into mother's wardrobe; I know she's made some girly outfits that fit us! We can even try growing our hair out and everything!"

A heartfelt nod. Kaoru is smiling in spite of herself. It would be nice, just once, to be able to switch in and out without worrying about getting caught, however fleeting that might be.

"She leaves tonight. Let's do it then."

†

Summer comes and goes as quickly as its short-lasting foliage. Trees, once a vibrant green, are already starting to become painted with the colors of autumn; browns and reds and yellows and oranges become a common sight as one wanders along parks and streets.

School is just a breath away, and neither twin knows how to deal with that. No longer was it the prospect of being ensnared in what they considered a 'boring' location, but the fact that they were going to have to fall right back into one gender.

Temporary. This was temporary from the start, and yet -

Disappointment does not evade them, no; it sinks right into their very bones and keeps them up later than they mean to, makes them dig through every outfit Yuzuha has possibly made, keeps them changing nail polish colors and keeps them swapping hairstyles.

Preserving the satisfaction of being free to express themselves was top priority.

"Hey, Kaoru, what do you think? This look good on me?"

For now, they both idle in their room. Kaoru keeps busy with a hairbrush and grooms her shoulder-length locks with care (it did get pretty long, pretty quick). Hikaru, on the other hand, is busy fitting herself into a light blue dress, one that hugs her twelve-year-old body until it reaches the end, leaving a thick layer of fluff to poke out.

"I like that on you. Blue's really your color."

"Think so?"

"Of course."

Kaoru thought she was beautiful. Really, really beautiful - so much so that, she felt herself turn a little red thinking about how nice her twin looked (although at this point in time she couldn't tell you why she felt the way she did).

"Thanks."

As they continue messing around, the door cracks open. Many of the servants had seen the young masters swapping clothes - dresses and shorts, skirts and pants - most didn't really care what they were up to. Yuzuha had simply said to make sure they stay out of trouble; she never mentioned a word about banning her sons from playing what they believed was dress up.

She doesn't know that, though.

"Boys, I'm ho - ! Boys!"

She is staring at the pair of them, and it is her voice that scares them both into stillness. Kaoru stops braiding Hikaru's hair, and Hikaru drops the barrette she was holding.

"What are you two doing?"

"Dress-up." They reply in unison, lying it off as quick as they can. "We wanted to see if we could look good as girls."

"Is that so?" This answer seems to amuse her, and it appeases Yuzuha. That's all it was, yes, just another one of their games and not anything she should concern herself with. They were just being boys, that's all.

"Yeah. What do you think, mom? Don't we look good?"

"Sure you two do." She chuckles, and enters the room. Taking a seat next to Kaoru, Yuzuha ruffles their hair and smiles. "And I'm sure this little experiment of yours has been fun, but school starts in two days. You know you can't go like that."

"We weren't planning on it."

More lies.

"Good." Each twin receives a gentle kiss to the forehead. "That hair's gonna need a cut. First thing in the morning, got it?"

She leaves them be for the night after that, and never in their lives have they gone through so many colors of polish since then.

(Is this what people meant by being in the closet?)


	4. Talented

_A/N:_ Now presenting chapter four. I had a bit of a struggle trying to start it - while gender identity and exploring that is important, I don't want that to be a constant, all consuming topic, so I'm trying to integrate with other struggles they're dealing with. As for the song, I listened to 'Dance, Dance' by the Vitamin String Quartet for inspiration, if you want to read this chapter to that tune.

Enjoy! Feedback is much appreciated!

* * *

_He says that he had to learn to work around the dissatisfaction._

Funny how there is still competition for the right to be an heir, Kaoru thinks.

Was it not amusing? Both of them were identical, almost perfectly so, and yet, here they are, hearing Yuzuha murmur about her company prospects to her husband at the dinner table while her eyes kept shifting over to the pair of them. Whether or not she could tell them apart was irrelevant - she only had one of them in mind when it came to considering who would take over.

"Ridiculous." As they enter their bedroom from another day at school, Hikaru is tossing his bag onto the bed with his porcelain features knotted into a frown. "I was only born fifteen minutes before you, and they wanna make me the heir? What for?"

"You know the rules." Kaoru heads over to the chair, picking up his violin case. "The eldest son inherits the company of his parents and is groomed to fit the role."

"It's a stupid role that I have to fit." The elder rolls his eyes. "Especially since you and I are in a Matriarchy. Bet you if mom had a daughter - "

Both of them sigh. It is uncomfortable enough of a thought that it forces Hikaru to rub at his chest and shift in his uniform.

"If I – if we were girls...I mean, born with all the right stuff, and not just..."

"You know most people can't wrap their heads around gender identity." Kaoru tunes his instrument with bow in hand, trying to provide a cushion between his brother and the anxiety that was eating him up. Doing so helped to contain his own. "Even if we identified as girls all of the time, and wanted to change our bodies...mother would probably just say we were still boys."

"Well mother can fu - "

Kaoru raises a brow. Hikaru merely snorts in response.

"Like I said. The only reason I'm getting mother's company is because we're her only children and I was born first. If she had a daughter to pass it on to - a (and he uses airquotes with this) "biological" daughter, she'd get it no matter what."

"That's true."

Silence fills up cracks and holes where the conversation could no longer reach, until the younger twin begins to play one of Chopin's pieces, arm moving raptly about the strings.

Now was not the time to admit that Kaoru found himself a little bit - just a little bit - envious at the position Hikaru was placed.

†

No amount of talent was ever going to make him enough in the eyes of his parents.

Although he is only fourteen, Kaoru was capable of playing some of the hardest pieces on his violin. He had won several art shows, and he was already semi-fluent in French and English both. He could read novels of American authors with such a dazing speed that annoyed his classmates when it was time for discussion. Why, he is even better at grasping the way people behave, reading in depth what kind of defenses they would use, how they conveyed emotion, and so forth.

And yet, here he is, stuck in second place.

Granted, he was not mad at Hikaru (he didn't think he could ever get mad at that beautiful boy), but more-so at his parents for disallowing him any opportunity without taking into consideration his capabilities.

Was he not enough for them? Why couldn't they both take over the company, together?

"Kaoru."

It was all unfair. He was just as good, just as fit. He could lead like the best of them, he was sure of it -

"Kaaaaaaoooorrru."

Maybe he'd show them. Maybe he'd dazzle them with something new, make them see that he deserved to be seen in the same light as his twin -

"Holy shit, Kaoru, snap out of it already."

It takes a gentle shaking from Hikaru to pry the younger out of his thoughts.

"God, welcome back to Earth you big dork." A gentle smile fits his lips, one that makes Kaoru's heart do a bit of a jump for reasons unexplained. "The maid wanted me to inform you that dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes."

"Right." He laughs a little. "Sorry about that, nii-san. I was just - "

"Yeah, yeah. You were thinking, I know. You do it a lot. I think that's dangerous."

"As if." Kaoru brings his violin up to his shoulder. "You don't think enough. That's scary."

"Nuh-uh! I just happen to act first and ask questions about it later. I think living life on impulse is better than just sitting around and mulling it over."

"Sure, but if you never sit down to think about the wonder of things and appreciate their complexities, then you're failing to understand the depths through which we live."

The elder twin simply rolls his eyes and points his fingers to his head, a sign that Kaoru was doing too much talking.

"Rude."

"At least I'm honest."

"Right."

Hikaru grins.

"Say...Kaoru, play a popular song."

"What for?"

"I want to join you."

Kaoru smiles.

"Okay."

He puts himself into position and begins to move his arm over the strings, fingers falling into place on the neck of the instrument. He would leave it to Hikaru to guess what he was playing.

"This song? Alright, then..."

Getting up from the mattress, the elder clears his throat, and then -

"She says she's no good with words but I'm worse,  
Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue..."

As they fall into harmony, both find themselves absent of any thought. It was these moments that provided comfort from the constant stress of repressing their feminine energies, of having to play the role of obedient children who were just being groomed for economic benefit.

Whoever said music was not capable of healing?

"I'm two quarters and a heart down and I don't wanna forget how your voice sounds, these words are all I have so I write them,  
I need them just to get by..."

It is only when the song ends that reality begins to sit down upon their shoulders once more, at least for Hikaru.

Kaoru, on the other hand, is left reeling in the sensation - not of his playing, but of the sound of his twin's voice.

Denying that his brother was without talent would be quite the disservice. Hikaru can sing; his voice demanded to be heard, and captured attention without so much as trying. When it came to math, and science, the elder was quick to put together abstract concepts and concrete theory - he had won a good number of science fairs because of that. To top it off, he already had the better eye for design - while it's true that both of them are very knowledgeable with the world of fashion, it was Hikaru who knew what fabrics were made of, he who understood what should and shouldn't go together, and he who even began drawing sketches of different styles down all over the sides of his homework.

Is it any wonder he was the one who would take over?

"Kaoru, you're doing it again."

"Yeah...wait, what?"

"Thinking. You're thinking again. Maybe you should stop."

He rolls his eyes.

"You're ridiculous, nii-san."

"No way."

Fingers brush though red strands, and the elder places a gentle kiss to the top of his head.

"Nerd."

"Jerk."

But he is as red as his hair, face hidden in in his brother's chest. What was this sensation coming over him?

(Something tells him it was more than just the talent that left him captivated.)


	5. Playing Games

_A/N: _Chapter five is now up! You didn't think I forgot all about their little stint in middle school, did you?

As always, enjoy, leave some feedback or favorites and let me know what you're liking so far!

* * *

_She says it began as a single game._

Towards the beginning of their second year, the twins begin to notice that there are one-too-many love letters piling up high on their desks. Girls (and perhaps the occasional guy), it seemed like, were finding them to be an attractive pair.

For them, it makes no sense - not because they didn't think they weren't handsome (clearly, they were, and used it to suit them as needed), but because these admirers were haphazardly spreading infatuation along the surface, addressing one twin in name but never in person.

"Are they even trying?"

Ivory fingers trace the edge of the envelope, dipping down on its body to occasionally flick the flap. This is the upteenth letter Hikaru got in his name, and he was simply itching to tear it to shreds.

"I doubt it." Kaoru keeps himself pressed on the windowsill, gazing down at the courtyard. "I think they come up with these things from Google."

"If I get one more letter telling me they think I'm cute, I'm gonna - "

"Hikaru."

Kaoru nods his head toward the window. "Look."

"...She's here."

"...do you still wanna do this? We could just leave her hanging."

"We could..."

His lips twitch into a frown, fingers clenching the paper. Not saying anything to her was being too merciful.

"But I don't want to. It's time we start teaching these girls a lesson, Kaoru."

Turning to his younger brother, a smirk creeps upon his features.

"Don't you think so?"

"I guess so, but..." Kaoru pauses, shifting in his spot. He wasn't looking forward to this as much as Hikaru was, and it showed in the way his expression remains neutral. "Nobody's going to win this game, nii-san..."

"I know that. Isn't that the point? We dont want them to tell us apart, do we?"

Although Hikaru knows just as well that he is speaking contradictions, for he feels heavy with the thought of being undistinguished.

"I...I don't know. Is that what we want?"

One hand is removed from the envelope, placing itself on top of Kaoru's. Their thumbs brush, and their fingers tangle up together.

"Listen, Kaoru. We're testing them. They wanna keep sending us so many love letters, right? Well, instead of letting them hurt us, we tear them all apart before they can think of it."

Pause.

"We can avoid disappointment this way...and we can get back at them for being stupid. We'll show them not to come to us until they know who's who."

A satisfactory enough of an answer. The younger squeezes his twin's hand, then nods. A wicked glint overcomes his irises.

"What are we waiting for, then? Time to put the 'Which one is Hikaru' game back into motion."

And so they do just that; slinking into the courtyard, Kaoru hides, and Hikaru approaches the girl with a fake smile. He made sure to hold the envelope up so she knew her letter didn't fall on deaf ears.

"O-oh!" She fumbles with her binder, then smiles. "You got it..."

"Of course." Pausing, he makes sure to appear bashful. "But, you see, I'm not Hikaru. I'm Kaoru."

"!"

"I mean..." Twirling the letter he still ached to rip, the elder glances at her. "? Hikaru appreciated the letter, but he's already got a love interest."

She frowns a little, before -

"Don't you think you could like me instead, though? I have to admit, I've had a crush on you for quite a while..."

They sit in silence for a moment, until she replies with something so ridiculous it makes Hikaru's blood boil.

"S-sure. I could..."

"I see..."

She didn't even try. She didn't insist that she liked Hikaru more, or that she had written the letter with him in mind. To her, they are easily replaceable.

"Kaoru!"

"Wha - !"

Emerging from the bushes, the younger twin grins, then takes his place beside Hikaru.

"So you were - "

"That's right." And before he can stop himself, the words start pouring from his lips like poison, grip so tight on the envelope that he was starting to make it crumple.

"By saying you want me instead of Hikaru, you're implying that you actually don't really want either of us."

"But that's mean - "

"No, you're the one who's mean." A snort. "Do you even think about what you say before it leaves your mouth? Would you really be fine with Kaoru, instead, and do you even know which one of us is which?"

"Um, not - "

"No, of course you don't."

Hikaru begins to rip the letter apart.

"Never - " Rip. "Send us - " Tear. "A letter - " Shred. "Again." Drop.

Pieces of the letter scatter all over the courtyard, leaving the girl in tears.

"And by the way..." Kaoru interjects. "If you even want to stand a chance of dating us, get your nails done. They're hideous."

Wordlessly, she is sent off in heaving sobs, legs carrying her as fast as she can go. One might think that watching her cry was enough to make the twins feel regret, or pity. Instead, both are beside themselves - Kaoru watches with a slight smirk, feeling satisfied. Hikaru, on the other hand, is laughing, feeling better than he should have about reducing somebody to tears.

"Her expression - "

"Priceless!"

After the elder's laugher dies down, the pair glance at each other. Gazes soften, and fingers lace back together.

"We should do that more often."

"Don't worry, Kaoru. I'm sure we'll get the chance soon enough."

†

As the year goes on, the students begin to see just how warped the Hitachiin Twins really were, how easily they could bring people down and shut them out before a word was ever put in.

Unfortunately, these two prodigal children are from one of the wealthiest families in all of Ouran (and in Japan, for that matter), so parents are nagging for them to try and make the acquaintance of the red-heads.

To say that it's been unsuccessful is an understatement.

"How are we supposed to become their friends if they don't like anybody?"

"Dad wants me to get to know them, but, I'm too scared to even go near them."

"Why bother? I'm pretty sure they don't even like anybody beside each other."

How true, those words. Granted, the pair of them remember _one_ person they were fond of (a housemaid that worked for Yuzuha for six months, about when they were five), but given that she left in the midst of a robbery while telling them that nobody would be able to tell them apart, well -

"Do you hear them, Hikaru? They keep talking about us."

It was getting hard to focus on her book when they kept murmuring so damn close to them. Couldn't they just enjoy the emerging spring season without gossiping?

"Good for them. I don't care."

"I know, but I can't even read with them around..."

"Yeah?"

Her elder twin's expression is soft, just for her, and she receives a gentle squeeze to her hand.

"Allow me."

Turning towards the group, Hikaru fixes up a glare, one so nasty that it puts the students into silence.

"What are you standing around, for? _Leave_."

They do so without giving it a second thought.

"Better?"

"Yeah..."

"Good."

How odd, their relationship. It was one of such intimacy; hands being held, kisses to the cheek being shared - hardly did they think much of it, other than it being the only secure point they've got in their lives. After all, shutting people down had its consequences, the main effect of which, brought about a surreal loneliness that crept into the crevasse of their hearts.

Despite it, they wouldn't yield. The locks around them grow heavier, get rustier; the chains tighten their hold and the gates stay sealed. No matter how unbearable the sensation grew, the twins knew they had each other.

For now, it was enough. They could do this for the rest of their lives, if they had to, if it meant not letting people hurt them anymore.

†

Time waits for no man, and for the twins, who were so self-assured in the creation of their own little world, this is no exception.

How quick things do change.

"I can't believe he got it right."

As they sit in their limo, the pair sit in an awkward silence, unripped letter still lingering in Hikaru's hand.

"But he guessed." Kaoru surmises.

"We could've fooled him, you know."

"Maybe, but you were so surprised, Hikaru...you didn't catch yourself fast enough to fake it."

He laughs.

"Damn that Suoh. I let him get to me."

"And he won." The younger rolls his eyes, body slumping so that he could rest his head on his brother's shoulder. "Now we_ have_ to join his stupid club."

Leaning his head on top of Kaoru's, the elder snorts.

"Oh, well. It's nothing big, I'm sure. Just another way for us to kill some time. It's not like we've got anything else to do."

"That's true."

The rest of their ride goes on in silence once more, although it settles into the cracks of the conversation as something comfortable. Both of them wanted to pretend that they were disappointed by Tamaki's ability to distinguish them, but it was hard to stay aggravated.

Both of them were impressed, but only by a little bit.

(There's still no way they could let people into their world. Not so soon.)


	6. Bloom

_A/N:_ Yes, I promise, Heliotrope is a type of flower. Very gorgeous, too. I won't spoil it for you but there's a distinct reason I make a lot of reference to the word and the flower. (Imaginary treats for you if you think you can guess why in a review).

All metaphors aside, allow me to present chapter six, now with 150% more Host Club shenanigans. Enjoy! Feedback, favorites, and views all appreciated!

* * *

_He said it was the spark of curiosity that prompted him forward._

"These are the most ridiculous lines I have ever seen."

Busy are the twins as they pour over the scripts, eyes skimming over the paper with knitted brows.

"Don't be ridiculous." Tamaki runs his fingers through blonde locks, lips quirking into a slight smile. "You two have just received them! Besides, there's endless potential for you two to bring the words to life!"

"Sure." Kaoru rolls her eyes. "If you call this chicken scratch writing 'potential'."

"!"

A flabbergasted noise escapes the blonde's throat as he clutches his chest, sinking to the ground. Despair overtook his features.

"Chicken scratch...they call my writing chicken scratch..."

"Uh, Suoh?" Both of them raise a brow. "Are you...okay?"

As if nothing was wrong, he springs back up, beaming with brilliance.

"Call me King!"

"No way."

Again, Tamaki goes back to the floor, although he is now hurdled up in the corner while he makes circular patterns on the floor.

"They don't wanna call me King...I see how it is. I'm not respected enough. All of my hard work, and this is what I receive in return? It was all for naught."

"Jesus Christ." Hikaru murmurs under her breath. "He's a total fruit basket."

"Tell me about it." Kaoru rolls her eyes, gaze flickering over the script. "I don't know how much more of this I can stand."

"Maybe we should bail now."

"And what, give him a heart attack? I don't think he'd let us live it down if we did."

The elder twin snorts. A moment of silence befits the otherwise empty music room, before -

"Say, uh, Suoh. We got a question."

Again, Tamaki springs up on his feet, violet irises laced with the shadow of a smile.

"Yes?"

"How about - " Kaoru begins.

" - We experiment a little?" Hikaru finishes.

"Experiment? How so?"

Now both of them speak in unison.

"Instead of just reading straight from this boring script of yours, we could spice it up a little. If you give us a week, we'll turn it into a masterpiece for the opening of the Host Club. Sound good?"

The pair wait with baited breath. They didn't want their newfound boss to burst into another round of fanatical tears, nor did they need him sulking it up in the corner.

"Fair enough!" He grins, then gives the thumbs up. Kaoru lets out a sigh of relief. Hikaru mumbles something akin to 'Thank Spirits.' "I'll even do you an additional favor."

"Yeah, like what?"

"If both of you can nail the essence of the 'two-in-one forbidden brotherly love act', you won't even need a script to read from! Why, I won't even make you practice it in front of me! All I ask is that you come back during opening day with a perfected routine."

Tamaki's grin widens.

"Now, let's hope you two can surprise me, hm?"

In response, the twins cock matching smirks.

"Oh, you'll be in for a real surprise, alright. Don't you worry about that."

†

August winds roll over Japan, providing reprise from the smoldering heat that hangs heavy over the city. Trees are in peak bloom; myriad shades of green fit their line of vision as far as the eye can see, alongside a series of flowers that stay tucked away in bushes and branches alike.

"Good idea practicing out here today, Kaoru."

"Wasn't it, though?" He smiles, taking a deep breath. Of all the things he could smell, he found that the lure of the heliotropes was the most intoxicating scent of them all. "It's such a gorgeous day...a little hot, but, it's still summer, so..."

"Mmhm."

The pair lay sprawled in the grass. Now that they were older, the expanse of their lawn didn't seem as large as it used to be.

"We should probably get back to practicing."

Hikaru huffs.

"But we just took a break. I'm not ready, yet."

"Whiner." Kaoru chuckles. "It's not like we're doing anything complicated."

"Sure we are. Acting takes a lot out of me, you know."

"As if."

After a few more minutes pass, the elder twin sits up, and the younger follows suit.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, yeah. Take it from the top, Kaoru."

He clears his throat and shifts, doing his best to visualize an audience of ogling girls. Once he can picture them asking questions about their family life, he starts.

"Well, it's not too bad, not having the parents around. Sometimes I feel all alone, but..."

A warm hand rests on top of Kaoru's. When he turns his head, Hikaru is giving him a tender gaze, free hand resting on his chest.

"Don't be silly, Kaoru. You're never alone, don't you know that? You'll always have me at your side."

"Hikaru..."

At this point, the twins have managed to bite down their laughter, and could begin to recite the sappiest of lines in their sleep. Reading a lot of shoujo manga and watching enough romantic comedies to put a heartbroken teen to shame was a solid remedy to understanding what their target audience wanted.

Still. Something was off this time around. Hikaru pulls back at this point, they both nod, decide if they need to tweak anything else, and call it good. Instead, their hands are still laced, and Kaoru finds him moving closer, closer...

"Nii-san?"

When their foreheads touch, the younger twin turns a little red.

"Nii-san, what are you doing? I don't think this was a part of our plan, I - "

Kaoru wasn't given the chance to finish that sentence. Shades of red and gold fill his vision, soon becoming a hazy blur until he finds himself liplocked.

What he does next, surprises even himself.

Instead of pushing, or protesting, pale arms slip around Hikaru's neck, roping him in closer to deepen the kiss. Why he did that, Kaoru couldn't say. Something odd had sprung forth that had taken root and blossomed in his chest, something warm. He felt it spread up to his fingertips and through his toes, up his spine and into his very bones.

Whatever this sensation was, he liked it. He liked it quite a bit, and, judging from the way Hikaru let his hands rest on his hips, so did he.

Too bad it didn't last. Soon, the elder twin pulls back, lips curling upward into a faint smile.

"Hikaru?"

"I wanted to see if maybe kissing would help. Do you think it's too much?"

Kaoru laughs, sinking back into the grass. Was that what the kiss was for? No, it couldn't have been just that. Both of them have never laid their hands on another person in their life, which means -

"You do realize you just took my first kiss, right?"

"Oh, like it's a big deal. That was mine, too."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Course not. I mean, did it bother you? Guess I should've asked..."

"Nah. I would've pushed you off if I minded, so don't worry about it. Sides, you never think about anything, you just do it, so, you asking probably would've caught me more off guard."

Both of them grin.

"Seriously, though. Too much?"

"Well, maybe. We're only fourteen, nii-san. These girls are in high school. Feels a bit...creepy, don't you think? We should wait until we're older to make it our selling point."

"Good idea."

Kaoru rests his hands on his stomach, glancing up at the sky. Hikaru stretches, letting out a yawn before taking to his brother's side.

"Hey...was that the only reason you kissed me?"

"Yeah. Why?"

The younger pinches his brother's cheek, then smiles.

"Liar."

"Ow, hey, hey - okay, fine. I, uh...well, we've never kissed anybody before, right?"

"Yeah, and?"

"I...wanted to know what it felt like."

"Nerd."

"Hardly. You can't tell me you weren't curious, too."

"Maybe, but you and I both know who's got better control over their emoti - scowl all you want, Hikaru, you know I'm right."

After a moment, the elder relinquishes his mock glare, expression softening.

"...was it okay?"

"The kiss? I mean, yeah. You're...you're not a bad kisser."

Kaoru made a note of mentally slapping himself. Why would he even _add_ that information? That wasn't even what Hikaru asked him.

"You're not bad yourself."

Pause. Both of them break into laughter before an arm slips around the younger's shoulders.

"Just curious."

"Fair enough."

Silence settles over, one that they get cozy with as the sun continues to bleed over the horizon. While neither twin knew it yet, a new chapter was unfolding right beneath them.

They had become undone, and redone in the same turn. Flowers were not the only thing that was growing under the summer sunset.

†

"Well, I _am_ impressed! That was perfect!"

September was making a great promise; today was the official opening of the Host Club, and all the members had fallen into their respective roles. So far, Tamaki was in the lead with the largest request of clients, but the twins managed to pull up right behind him.

"They certainly did better than I expected." Kyoya runs through his book, flicking through the pages with the faintest of smirks.

"I knew Hika-chan and Kao-chan could do it!" Hani grins over at them both, arms hanging over Mori's shoulders. Mori simply nods in response.

"See? You were worked up for nothing." Both of the twins chant in unison, grinning.

"Me? Worked up? Not at all!" Tamaki runs his fingers through his hair again. "I knew you two would do just fine!"

"If I recall, Tamaki, you were the one telling me that you were the most concerned."

A grumble.

"Nobody asked you, Kyoya."

All laugh, and all linger in the good spirit of Music Room Number Three.

(This was going to be better than either could have hoped.)


End file.
